Starbucks Creed
by EzioTheSexio
Summary: This includes the Asscreed Starbucks, Stripper, Apartment, and Bakery AU. WARNING: Has AC Yaoi. Don't like? Don't read. Includes: EzLeo and AltMal. Will have the Assassins in funny, quirky, angsty, and steamy AU situations. Rating is Mature just for safe measures.
1. Ch 1: Coffee Spills and Barista Thrills

Chapter One: Coffee Spills and Barista Thrills

[A/N: I do not own Assassin's Creed Ubisoft does, though I wish I did own a certain assassino…]

It was a quiet morning at the coffee shop when Connor Kenway walked in for the start of his shift. It was 8:50 AM and Starbucks would open soon. He walks to the bar to see Altair Ibn-La'Ahad behind it, already having immaculately polished each coffee machine and is now pouring the finest of Starbucks coffee beans into the espresso machine.

"Good morning," Connor says softly as he slips the barista apron over his head.

Altair replies with a nod, now focused on making the perfect cup of coffee. Altair is all furrowed brows and pursed lips, and his deft hands work so fast Connor gets dizzy watching. Connor doesn't need to ask who the java masterpiece is for, before he sees Altair write "Mailk" in nearly calligraphy quality writing.

The front door bursts open and an Italian accent cheers through the building, "Buongiorno, baristas!" A young handsome young man rolls into the building, and jumps on the counter, spilling Altair's perfect cup of coffee.

"EZIOOOO!" Altair roars and brandishes the closest weapon he could find: a spoon.

"A fine morning to you too," Ezio says under his breath.

"Do you REALIZE which coffee beans went into this!? THE TEMPERATURE THIS HAD TO BE!? IT WAS PERFECT, IT WAS GOING TO BE PERFECT!"

"It's just a cup of coffee, bro," Ezio says rolling his chocolate-brown eyes.

"IT'S NOT JUST A CUP OF COFFEE!"

"No, it's _the_ cup of coffee." Connor calmly interjects as the clock turns to 9:00 AM.

"Hello, can I get some service here, novices?" A young man with short black-cropped hair spitefully demands, with a wave of his only arm. "Is this a coffee shop or a henhouse? I'd like a cup of coffee."

Altair looks up at the young man of whom the cup of coffee was for.

"Look, I got to get to work, I don't have time to stand around," the customer says.

Altair's face is calm and collected, but he slumps over, realizing he does not have enough time to make _the_ cup of coffee for Malik. Altair turns to Ezio with a glare, "We will finish this later." Altair rushes to attempt to recreate _the_ coffee.

Ezio shakes his head, walking away from the scene and slips his barista apron over his head. He never understood what the deal was, it was just a cup of coffee afterall. He thought Altair was just a work-a-holic and a perfectionist, completely oblivious to the real reason for all the hype over the perfect cup of coffee.

"Here you are, your triple shot espresso Sumatra roast coffee with a touch of frothed soy," Altair says and hands Mailk _the_ cup of coffee.

Malik accepts the coffee, takes a sip and spits it out. "What is this rabble, novice?! This tastes like mud!" Altair wants to cry and admit he had made the perfect cup but his foolish co-worker spilled it and ruined it, but he can't, so all he does is sigh as Malik storms out of the coffee shop.

Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

"Good morning," A soft-spoken blond-haired artist greets and waves at the bunch.

"Leonardo, Buongiorno!" Ezio cheers and pushes Altair out of the way to work the register. "Cosa ti piacerebbe?"**

"Vorrei hazelnut macchiato, per favore."*** Leonardo replies.

"Un momento," Ezio says with a wink and turns away to make the coffee, as Ezio turns a faint smattering of blush produces on Leonardo's face. Connor is standing, watching the whole ordeal and shakes his head. It's a shame and he feels bad for Leonardo, since Ezio has a—how should you say—a _preoccupation_ for women.

Speaking of women, Altair himself shakes his head as the usual flood of teenage girls flood the building. So much for a quiet morning.

The girls all giggle and whisper amongst themselves about Ezio, who scrawls a messily written "Leo" on the cup before mixing up his drink. But as per usual Ezio gets distracted as an elecro-beat song plays over the speakers, and he does a seductive dance which of course makes all the girls cheer.

Leonardo laughs softly to himself and shakes his head, how could he be in love with such a fool? But he did not know much about Ezio, after all he went to the University and he the Art Institute. What he did know is that when he first transferred here from Italy, he was so lost and did not know anyone else that knew Italian. But then as fate had it, he walked into the Starbucks across from his art institute to find a handsome young man with an Italian accent. And now they spoke Italian each time they met, and Leonardo was smitten by the young Ezio. But there is always a catch with things so perfect, and Leonardo knew that Ezio was not interested in men.

"Qui si va!"**** Ezio cheers and hands Leonardo a steaming hot sweet coffee drink.

"Ah! Grazi, Ezio! Se perfecto!" Leonardo says with a grin. The two wish each other a good day, and Leonardo steps to the back of the room to sit at a table.

The girls that have impatiently waited now have their turn with Ezio, flirting and ordering their drinks. Ezio is always up for attention from the ladies so he of course flirts back as he writes girl after girls names on the cups with a heart or a smiley face, and even a couple girls get a phone number on their cup!

Leonardo tries not to pay attention to the clamor, and sketches Ezio's perfectly sculpted face on his sketchbook.

Altair tries to keep his calm from his Italian co-worker's infuriating slack work ethic, because of the onslaught of girls he asks Connor to man the next cash register and he'll make the coffees. The girls are disappointed at first, but one look at Connor's puppy dog eyes and freckles and they are immediately pleased. But Connor won't write any hearts or smiles or phone numbers on his cups.

"Ah, what a day," Ezio wistfully states and sighs as it is getting dark outside.

"No thanks to you," Altair spits at Ezio.

"Hey! I did my work."

"Yeah, with getting phone numbers!"

"It is not my fault that the ladies all come for me, and not you, my friend."

Altair just rolls his eyes, sometimes it is best not to argue. _Times like this the fool can't get any sense talked into him_, Altair thinks.

"Well, I will see all of you tomorrow," Ezio announces to the gang.

"You are leaving?" Connor asks.

"Yep, I got a second job. I need more money and this place pays well."

"Where at?" But before Ezio can answer Connor, he's already out the door.

*Buongiorno (Good Morning)

**Cosa ti piacerebbe (What would you like)

*** Vorrei hazelnut macchiato, per favore (I would like a hazelnut macchiato, please)

**** Qui si va (Here you go)


	2. Ch 2: The Assassin of Hearts

Chapter 2: The Assassin of Hearts

A/N: I don't own Assassin's Creed, Ubisoft does.

Ezio had swiftly slipped out of the Starbucks, without notice from the others. He didn't want to deal with explaining to the others about his new job. He knew that Altair would chastise him, and he was worried Connor would lose respect for him. It felt silly to Ezio to worry about what the others thought; he never seemed to after all. But the reason why was because though Ezio was always surrounded by many people, his only people whom he could call friends were the Starbucks gang.

In lieu of his reputation among his friends, work, and school he asked his new job if he could perform with a disguise on. His new boss Edward Kenway didn't mind, after all most of his employees wore a costume of some sort.

Ezio drove the short distance for his first day on the job at 'The Heartbreaker Club' the classiest—if you can call it that—strip club in the city.

Ezio jumps from his dressing room seat as he feels his phone vibrate, a text from the concerned Connor that he's going to have to ignore.

"First day?" A guy sitting next to him, clad in a cheesy policeman costume asks. The man has an accent that Ezio can't quite place.

"Yeah…" Ezio admits and scratches the back of his head. "Is it that obvious?"

The man shows with his hand 'a little bit'. Ezio laughs and the guy asks, "What is your name, newbie?"

"Uhhhh, like my name _here_ or—"

"Haha, your real name."

"Ah, well it's Ezio."

"Ezio, it is good to meet you—I am Yusuf," he says and the two shake hands.

"I don't know why I'm nervous. I mean this is just dancing around and a bunch of chicks checking your junk out—sounds like a good time to me."

"Well, you know it's not just girls," Yusuf says laughing.

"What? Why would—_oh_…"

"What, you don't swing that way, brother?"

"No! Don't be ridiculous!" Ezio shouts and his face turns the color of the cheesy-looking red cape that he is wearing. He is wearing a red cape, a grey vest with red stripes and tight spandex brown pants that have Velcro on the sides for easy removal.

"Oh sorry—" But Yusuf's apologies are interrupted as the sleek, long, blonde haired Edward, comes in and shouts: "Ezio, you're on!"

"Good Luck!" Yusuf whispers as Ezio waves, and stands on the side of the stage, still behind the curtain. Right now there is a guy on stage completely naked save for black boxers. _Why would Yusuf think I like men?_ Ezio wonders as he's watching the naked guy dash off stage and run past him. It's not like he's ever has any feelings for them!

He shrugs the thoughts off as an announcer shouts, "And now introducing the newest member of our sexy family! You can all call him The Assassin, The Assassin of Hearts!" Ezio can hear many cheers of men and women and a few lewd shouts. But he gulps down his anxieties and musters all the courage he has to pull down a metallic silver mask over his face, and sashay onto the stage.

He was only given one day of training on the poles, other than that he was on his own. He always seemed to have the attention to women, so he figured he was doing something right. _They seemed to like the dance I did earlier at Starbucks_, Ezio thinks. But as for pleasing the men in the crowd, he was completely clueless.

It had sounded like it'd be so much easier than it really was. Now that he was up here and trying to dance, he realized the lights weren't as bright as he thought they'd be. In fact the room was dim, except for a faint red haze of lights on the stage and a spotlight that followed Ezio as he walked around the stage.

He was in a school play in high school and he remembered the lights being so bright he couldn't see the audience; he figured this would be the same but he was sorely mistaken. He could see every person seated, starring right at him, eager and lustful and it was oddly unnerving.

The last straw was when he saw a guy wink at him. Not sure if he was disgusted with himself or disgusted with the man, Ezio turned his back to the audience. He felt a lump in his throat like he couldn't breathe, and looking down he realized his hands were shaking. But he had to do his job so he moved his cape, shook his toned ass at the crowd, and swayed to the music, which elicited an eager and pleased response in the crowd.

He was finally feeling a bit more comfortable about it all.

Ezio ripped his cape off, threw it to the side. Closing his eyes, he asked the audience if he should take his shirt off too—which they off course agreed to. With trembling hands he removed his vest and slid onto the pole, allowing his shirt open a few buttons exposing his marble smooth skin and perfectly chiseled body. He clumsily moved around the pole, he was horrible, but the crowd was nice and cheered and threw money at him. Realizing this was not his strong suit he faced the crowd with a sheepish grin and unbuttoned more of his shirt.

However his grin dissipated as he looked into the crowd to see a familiar blonde artist with a sketchpad! It was his Italian artist customer Leonardo!

There were many things that came to mind. First he was wondering why Leonardo was at a place like this, and then he wondered why he was drawing him! He felt a chill as Leonardo was looking into his face, but he realized he was wearing the mask—he was okay.

He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to look at Leonardo the same way, but at least Ezio was anonymous. All Leonardo knew was that he was the 'Assassin of Hearts'. He felt an odd sense of power and satisfaction as he slowly removed his shirt, knowing the oblivious Leonardo was sitting there watching. The whole crowed hooted and hollered, and as he thrust his pelvic area out. The crowd replied with ones, five, and even a twenty! Ezio thanked them by turning his backside to the crowd and teasing them with a pull at the side of his pants.

"Take them off!" Someone shouted and Ezio had to oblige, in one swift movement he ripped them off and throw them to the side. He bent over, showing what he had to the crowd before turning around and showing them what else he had packing.

Edward had said the law was to keep underwear on, so that was as far as it went. Ezio slapped his backside, winked at them all, and blew them a kiss. He thought of saying something to the crowd before leaving, but he realized the voice would give away his identity to Leonardo.

Another flurry of money fell on the stage, and he even saw that some of it came from Leonardo. As he scooped up the money, he couldn't help but notice Leonardo had a faint pink blush on his cheeks. Ezio also couldn't help but feel a strange feeling in his lower region. He left the stage before the crowd could see result of the feeling, and he could have time to question the sensation.

CHAPTER 3 IS COMING SOON! CHECK REGULARLY (as I will update regularly)!

Also, please post any comments, suggestions, or requests.


	3. Ch 3: The Situations Up and Down Stairs

Chapter 3: The Situations Up and Downstairs

[A/N: I don't own Assassin's Creed, Ubisoft does.]

"Where do you think Ezio's working?" Connor asked as he and Altair walk down the street towards their favorite pizzeria.

"Who cares?" Altair replies and sighs. _He ruined my perfect cup of coffee! _

"Still sore about the coffee?"

Altair is taken aback, thinking, _What sorcery is this!? Can he read my mind!?_ But he knows that isn't possible so he replies, "No, of course not; it's just coffee." He turns away from Connor to hide the blush forming.

"Whatever, loverboy," Connor mumbles.

"What did you say!?" Altair demands, but Connor just dismissively waves as they enter the pizzeria.

"You again, coffee novice?" Malik asks from behind the counter. "You know there are other pizza places in this town, right?"

"Well, it's not like I like your pizza, it's just close is all," Altair casually says and glares daggers at the one-armed man.

Malik doesn't need to ask what they're ordering before disappearing to the open kitchen; they order the same thing every time, once a week.

_He doesn't like the pizza_, Connor thinks, _he likes the guy who's making it_.

This whole ordeal had been going on since the beginning of this semester, just a couple of months ago. He wondered how long it would go on for, and if they would just admit the attraction. Connor stood back and shook his head as he watched Altair with a false façade of furiously towards Malik who gracefully lifted the pizza in the air with his one arm and caught it back again. It was so obvious, why was neither willing to admit the attraction?

It wasn't long before Malik returned with fire in his eyes, carrying two large pizzas and four submarine sandwiches. "Here, your Gyro pizza, veggie lovers pizza, two gyro subs, and two farm subs."

Altair takes the food and suspiciously sniffs it, like he does every week. He cocks his head to the side and shrugs, "It _appears_ to be okay…"

"Get out of here novice!" Malik shouts, and before a banter between the two can start Connor shouts, "Have a good night!" and the Starbucks boys exits, with their food in hand.

"Here take your veggie hippie crap," Altair says and hands Connor his food. But Connor doesn't say anything, he silently takes the food as the two walk towards the apartment.

When the two transferred here for the University, Connor and Altair met through their work. They both were broke and in need of a roommate, so they decided to get an apartment close by both the University and their work. They had offered an extra room that they don't even use, to Ezio, but he declined the offer, saying he was fine.

Oh well, it was a work-out room for now.

The two made their way up the stairs to the third floor. It wasn't a bad apartment, not great, but not bad—it was college living conditions. They opened the door to find a room with meager commodities, decorated with mismatched black, white, and red furniture. Interior decorating was not of concern, since neither of them ever had guests over. The two of them sort of kept to themselves. Though Connor was an introvert and Altair was more of an extrovert, neither one of them particularly trusted others.

Starting to dive into the food Connor grinned as he thought of a devious idea. "Maybe you should invite Malik over sometime he seems…_friendly_?"

Altair nearly spits his food out, but an attempted saving grace he gulps the large pizza lump. The lump is too big though, and he starts coughing and choking.

Connor goes into serious mode and performs the Heimlich maneuver—but it only prompts more coughing.

"Stop! Stop! I'm—_cough_—fine!" Altair finally spits out the food and sighs. "I don't know, but I'm fine. I wasn't actually choking—just choked up."

"There is a fine line between the two," Connor replies with a stern expression.

"Will you calm down, your seriousness is freaking me out, I'm fine," Altair says and playfully shoves Connor, who shakes his head and starts laughing.

"Sorry—I just, I don't want my friends to get hurt."

Altair says he understands, and takes another bite, this time successfully swallowing.

"I didn't mean to nearly kill you. I just thought it'd be a good idea, but apparently not."

Altair replies with silence, but Connor could tell he was deep in thought, so he resumed eating his own food without harassing him anymore on the Malik topic.

"He never replied my text," Connor states checking his phone, changing topics.

"Maybe he can't answer texts on the job?"

"C'mon, it's Ezio. Ezio doesn't follow rules."

"Why do you care so much?" Altair asks and leans back, finishing off the pizza and moving on to the sub. But deep down, Altair had a faint worry for his friend as well. It was true, it was not like Ezio to be so secretive or to not reply to texts. Seeing Connor's concerned expression, Altair sighs and adds, "Look, don't count your chickens before they hatch. I'm sure he'll tell us when he wants to. He has his reasons."

Connor contemplates it for a moment, and realizing Altair's right, he nods.

"But, you are correct on one thing—maybe I will invite Malik to do something." Altair replies to a gleaming grin from Connor. "Why do _you_ look so happy?"

"Maybe I won't have to hear you two argue so much anymore," Connor honestly replies and laughs.

"Look I don't know what kind of weird ideas you have, we're just…friends? I mean he's a dude. I just, he pisses me off. But I kind of like him—as a friend! Maybe. It's weird. Okay just—STOP STARING AT ME, EAT YOUR FOOD!"

Connor can't help but laugh, shake his head, and finish his sub.

"How was your first gig?" Yusuf asks when Ezio's back in the dressing room, completely exposing his perfectly countered body except for a wad of discarded clothing held in front of his privies.

Ezio is so dazed he doesn't even know what to say, he forgets English and words and sentences and sardonically says "bene" before plopping on a seat. It isn't long before Yusuf asks what that even means, and Ezio remembers he's not in Italy anymore. "Sorry—I forget, I grew up in Italy all my life. I forget that, well—"

"So it was that bad, huh?"

Ezio sighs and is going to get back into his street clothes, when he looks down and realizes there is a—situation going on downstairs. He tries to compose himself and get his breathing back to a normal rhythm. He's wondering, _Why is this happening? It—it wasn't from Leonardo was it? No, that can't be no—it's the nerves. The blood all—confused…? Yes. Va bene, that is it_. He tries to think of the most disgusting imagery to turn him off.

But he's interrupted as he hears. "Well now it's my turn," Yusuf says and laughs. "Look, it gets easier, trust me, Ezio de la la la! See you tomorrow!"

Ezio quickly shoots a sideways grin at Yusuf before he's gone, and he finally realizes the situation has gone away. He lets out probably the largest exhale of his life, and gets up to finally get dressed in a white button-up tee and tighter fitting jeans fastened with a brown leather belt. He stows his costume and his mask in his locker, and leaves.

As he's leaving, and heading towards Edward's office, he looks down at his phone and sees a message from Connor reading: "how's the new job? you okay?" and an irate text from Altair that says: "You are going to –pay- for that cup of coffee that you spilled!". Ezio sighs, for these problems seem so minuscule compared to whatever it was that happened on stage.

"Ezio, how goes it? Come to see what this job's all about?" Edward asks and pulls an envelope out of a large chest. "That's what you get paid per night, plus you keep all your tips."

Ezio can't hardly believe the zeroes on the check—all of that for dancing?

"So you think you're gonna stay?"

Ezio looks at the check and sighs, he has to. It's just too much money to deny. He finally nods.

"Very good. By the way, you'll get paid bi-weekly for now on. That was just to give you a taste of what's to come."

"I can't help but feel I am not so good on the…poles," Ezio says and scratches the back of his head. It's strange saying such things.

"Well the audience disagrees, I don't care if you're falling down—they love you! Don't know what you got, kid, but you're great here."

"Ah, grazie, signore," Ezio replies and shakes his head realizing he's done it again.

He's about to apologize but Edward says, "See, that's what I'm taking about I can see it—you're the…" Edward holds his hands out, thinking of this right phrase, "You're the 'Italian Stallion'! Yeah, that's good stuff. I'll write that on your poster. You're great, kid, keep it up."

Those last words make Ezio shiver, and he's hoping he won't keep a certain _something_ up anymore.

"Well, see you tomorrow," Edward says brushing Ezio off as two scantily clad women enter the tiny office. "Oh yeah—take the backdoor, don't want customers asking for a lap dance your first day." Ezio's eyes widen and he wants to ask if he's going to be doing that later. But he knows how to take a cue as Edward is shooing him out, and kissing the girls, so he grasps his money in hand, and leaves.

Distracted, he forgets about Edward's suggestion to take the backdoor exit, and he walks through the main room. His nose is filled with the stink of stagnant cigar smoke and alcohol. He tries not to look at Yusuf who he quickly sees is stripping on stage, and he's so preoccupied with staring at the ground that he smacks right into someone. His nose previously filled with the stench of the place, is now filling with the smells of spices blended perfectly together. The only thing that smells comparable to this aroma is an Earl Grey Latte—one of his favorite drinks.

It is when he registers the smell that he looks down and sees the pile of sketches—if you can call them sketches—they are more like masterpieces that belong in an art museum. They are masterfully drawn, and every one of them is of him. But it's the stripper assassin him, with the Venation mask.

-No worries, Chapter 3 coming soon! Keep checking regularly—as I will be updating regularly.

-Comments, suggestions, and requests are appreciated! I'm always happy to add in what my readers want.


	4. Ch 4: Little Distractions

Chapter 4: Little Distractions

[A/N: I don't own Assassin's Creed—Ubisoft does.]

Recap from Ch. 3: _It is when he registers the smell that he looks down and sees the pile of sketches—if you can call them sketches—they are more like masterpieces that belong in an art museum. They are masterfully drawn, and every one of them is of him. But it's the stripper assassin him, with the Venation mask_.

It is a sheer panic that Ezio had never felt before. He could feel it in his heart that beat faster than he thought it should, and he could hardly breathe. It was the kind of fear that freezes you and you can't even flinch.

"Ah! I am so sorry!" Leonardo profusely apologizes, and nervously reaches down to gather his drawings. It's only when Ezio sees that flash of blonde hair that he completely understands the situation he is in, and he finally breaks from his stupor. Ezio realizes that Leonardo will tilt his head up and see him, so in a mad dash he turns around to find the first thing to disguise him.

He hears a loud cheer from the audience and they are going wild, and he realizes why when he sees that apparently Yusuf does not follow the law, because his boxers are lying in plain sight on a table. Ezio grits his teeth and pulls the boxers over his eyes and nose, trying not to breathe in the man-stink that is surely embedded in them as he turns back to Leonardo, who is of course a bit taken aback.

Clutching his masterpieces he tilts his head to the side, "Signore, why do you have underpants on your head?" Ezio is about to stammer something out but Leonardo interrupts, "Ah! Wait…you look familiar…"

Ezio attempts a deeper voice and says, "What? No— I don't, I don't know what you—"

"Yes! I am certain," Leonardo says and Ezio swears his heart skipped a beat and he died a little before he finishes saying, "you are the assassino, the so-called 'Assassin of Hearts', no?"

Ezio sighs of relief and stands up a little taller, in his disguised deeper Italian voice, "Yes—why yes, I am."

"Ah! How exciting!" Leonardo says and looks down. "I um…" Leonardo is twiddling his thumbs. "So…the underpants?"

"Yes, yes well my…boss wants me always….to be in disguise—you know it goes with the whole…assassin thing…"

"I see, well, perhaps you should carry your mask more, signore," Leonardo says laughing, but when he looks back up at Ezio blush immediately forms. It is then that Ezio looks through the boxers and into Leonardo's beautiful blue eyes and he realizes, _Leonardo likes men—doesn't he? But he doesn't know it's me—it's the assassino me, and he likes that me right? I mean he doesn't have a thing for me, does he? Because that would be weird._ But Ezio can't also help but wonder why he feels an odd sense of yearning…

Before he can feel his heart captivated he waves off and says, "I am very sorry, but I must be going."

"Oh—yes! I am sure…I um, I just wanted to let you know that you are…amazing! Yes, you are amazing!"

Ezio doesn't know what to say, but he thanks Leonardo quickly and leaves in a haste.

Once in his car he can't even go home, nothing seems to make sense. He knows if he goes home he'll be left alone with his thoughts and Leonardo's stupid big beautiful blue eyes dancing in his head and it's too much to handle. It's late and he has work early tomorrow, but he has to do something about this.

He knows what the solution will be. So he pulls out his cell phone and calls one of the numbers he had gotten this morning from the female customers at Starbucks, and of course one of them obliges.

/

"Finally! I have created the perfect cup of coffee for him, and even Ezio can't ruin it," Altair declares to himself and swishes the around foam to form a heart. Before Malik can ever see the coffee love confession, he presses a lid onto the cup. He feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest, and he wonders why he likes Malik as much as he did. He had always liked men in general for as long as he could remember. But there had never one in particular that he fancied until now, but this man reduced his feelings to that of a teasing schoolboy.

He grasps the coffee tight to his chest as he hears someone open the door, but it is Connor. He grins at Connor, but realizing that's out of character he turns away to polish the coffee machines with the one arm not clutching the coffee. He wonders if this is how Malik feels, it's much more difficult to perform tasks with one arm. He also wonders how Malik even lost his arm? But that is not something you can just flat out asks.

Connor smiles to himself, slips his barista apron over his head, and wipes down the counter.

Though they are roommates, they never walk to work together because Altair always got there an hour earlier to make the place spic and spec, and also to make _the_ cup of coffee. At first he, like Ezio, thought it was because Altair was a workaholic. But Connor was both intuitive and a bit of an empath, and so he knew it was all done to impress Malik.

Altair braced himself for Ezio's grand entrance, but this morning Ezio merely walked in calm and collected like Connor. Selfishly at first Altair thought, _Finally he will not ruin my coffee!_ But seeing Ezio's dejected expression, he realized something was wrong, and he immediately exchanged quizzical expressions with Connor.

"You doing okay?" Connor asks, putting down the towel and walking over to Ezio who slipped on his barista apron.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Ezio says quickly flashing a fake grin.

Altair buys it and resumes cleaning, but Connor doesn't. "Is it the new job? Did it not go so well?"

Ezio sighs. "Yeah it was—not what I expected, I guess?"

"Where is it that you work?" "Where do you work?" Altair and Connor both asked simultaneously.

"Bar tending—I work at a bar," Ezio says quickly. He had rehearsed the excuse so many times to make it sound believable.

There's an awkward silence before Connor slapped Ezio on the back and laughed. "The way you were so secretive about it—it was like you were an assassin!"

"Or a _stripper_!" Altair piped in and the two broke out in laughter.

"Ahhhh, imagine that! Psh, of course not! That's just disgusting—that's the lowest thing you could do!" Ezio says and laughs, trying to act natural. Did he elaborate too much? Did they buy it?

But Altair and Connor don't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, and as if on cue it's 9:00 AM and Malik comes through the door making a far more flashy entrance than Ezio.

Altair, clutching the cup of coffee, offers it to him with a grin.

"What, you put something weird in here?" Malik asks, and sniffs it speculatively like Altair did last night with the pizza.

"No-No! I just, I think you'll like it!"

"Hmm, well. We'll see about this," Malik says and begins to take the lid off in order to get a big gulp of it—which will reveal the big foam and coffee love confession.

"NO!" Altair yells and slaps the coffee from Malik's hand before he can drink it. The coffee spills all over Malik, the floor, and the counter. Ezio and Connor burst out in side splitting laughter, and Altair makes up some excuse about it being too hot, and Malik of course yells at Altair and storms out saying he's finding a new Starbucks.

Altair furiously cleans in order to alleviate stress, and Connor offers to help—but Altair refuses help.

Connor shrugs and walks over to Ezio. "I can't imagine you wouldn't enjoy your job, wine and women—it sounds like you!"

"Lascia ben vedere…"* Ezio mumbles scrambling for an excuse in his head. "It was—too late, the shift was too late and I am just so tired, I was up too late with the wine and women."

Connor isn't sure if that's the whole story, but it's a valid excuse so he smiles and is going to help Altair who didn't want help, but he's already done cleaning anyways.

Ezio leans against the wall, finally feeling calm like he dodged that bullet. Today Leonardo is later, and Ezio is hoping maybe he isn't coming in today. A few women and businessmen come in ordering various drinks. Ezio and Connor are on the cash registers and Altair makes the coffees—he thinks he makes the best. But soon more people shuffle through so the three of them trade making the coffee.

Ezio hears the bells chime as a certain blonde artist enters the coffee shop and gets at the back of the line.

Ezio doesn't smile at him but resumes his job of getting orders and making coffees. He does his flirtation with interested women, and tries not to see Ezio's floppy red beret that is atop a sea of shining blonde hair, or his low cut green v-neck atop a loose pair of canvas pants—the ends smudged with charcoal from sketches.

"Hello, belladonna, what will it be?" Ezio asks a lovely blonde, who is one of two girls standing in front of Leonardo.

She's giggling and blushing, looking at her brunette friend and she asks, "What is your favorite?"

"I like the _blonde_ roast," he replies with a wink, and this stupid pun elicits a roll of eyes from both Altair and Connor.

She giggles at the pun but says, "I like tea."

"Ah! Well in that case, my favorite drink here is the Earl Grey Latte, would you like that?"

"What sounds delightful."

He smiles, grabbing the cup, sharpie in hand, and asks, "What is your name?"

"Lucrecia…"

"Lucrecia," he repeats. "A beautiful name for a beautiful woman." He winks, and scrawls his number on the cup. The girl pays for her drink, but gives him her receipt back with her number across the back.

Connor makes the drink, and Connor rings up the brunette. Ezio sighs as it is his turn to man the register, and it is also Leonardo standing with his usual warm smile.

"Buongiorno, Ezio," Leonardo says and waves.

"Ah—Good morning," Ezio simply replies and taps his fingers nervously on the counter. Memories of last night flood into his head, and no amount of wine and women can make him forget those feelings and it's all those feelings that flood back. "What will it be?"

Leonardo grimaces and wonders why Ezio doesn't want to speak Italian with him today, it's the only friend he has that speaks Italian afterall. He sighs and says, "Earl Grey Latte today…"

Ezio shudders and he remembers how Leonardo smelled when he was so close to him. He can't help but look into Leonardo's eyes that seem to permeate into his soul and for a moment he's half afraid Leonardo knows he's the Assassin from last night—but he can't. It's one look into those eyes and his eyes dart to Leonardo's smiling pink lips, and they wander down the line of his v-neck. Ezio quickly turns to make the drink, before something happens—but it's too late. He has another awkward boner and now it's at work and he looks down to make sure the apron at least covers it.

"Ezio, make the coffee!" Altair shouts as he's just standing there, cup in hand.

"Alright, alright, _stronzo_!" Ezio shouts and Leonardo giggles since he is the only one who knows what that means. Ezio can't help but shoot a smile at Leonardo.

Ezio knows how to make the Earl Grey Latte to perfection, since it's his favorite drink. But it was the first time Leonardo ordered one, he usually went for coffee. He wondered if Leonardo ordered it because it was his favorite drink—_but no that's ridiculous_.

His hands tremble as he hands Leonardo the drink, but he tries to shake it off. "Ah, buona giornata, Leo."**

"Anche voi"*** Leonardo says while taking the drink. Before going to his seat he takes a sip of it and lets out a guttural "_mmmmmm_" and it isn't meant to be awkward—no it's just the sound for the pleasure of the taste, but Ezio's awkward boner is not having any of that. He wants to run and hide from the awkwardness of it all, but he grits his teeth and musters a smile as Leonardo says, "Grazie è delizioso!"****

Ezio musters his last smile as Leonardo retreats to his usual seat to sketch. Ezio decides to take an early break, unfortunately there is no backroom so he sits at a table next to Leonardo's and puts his head down. The coolness of the tabletop helps calm him down and he sighs.

"Ezio, I don't mean to pry—but you seem a bit…stressed. Are you okay?" Leonardo asks, and momentary refrains from drawing.

Ezio sits up and props his head on his hand, he sees Leonardo had already sketched Ezio's table faceplant and is now drawing the propped Ezio. "Why do you always draw me?" Ezio asks ignoring his question.

"I—ah," Leonardo stammers. "Your face it is…" Ezio tries not to flinch, in fact he's sitting as still as he possibly can. He holds his breath as Leonardo says, "perfectly symmetrical. Did you know that? See, look if you…" He sits next to Ezio at his table and puts the drawing in front of them. "You see?" He asks, putting his fingers on it to show the perfect symmetry of Ezio's face.

Ezio can't focus on the drawing. He can smell that smell from last night, but it's not the drink—it must be a soap or a cologne, and Leonardo's breath though, smells like the drink and he half thinks how nice it would be to taste that. He can feel the warmth of Leonardo's breath with each word that he mutters, and it's too much to handle. He stands up, hands on the table. "Ve bene, Leonardo. These are very good, but perhaps you should draw one of these beautiful women over there," he says ushering to Lucrecia and the brunette. "They are symmetrical."

"Well, women they…" Leonardo mutters softly, blushing profusely, and looks up at Ezio. "provide little distraction."

"Wait, I don't get it." Ezio says quickly, but he doesn't want to decipher it, so instead he pensively smiles and resumes his duties as a barista.

* Lascia ben vedere (Well let's see)

** Buona giornata (have a good day)

*** Anche voi (you too)

**** Grazie è delizioso (Thanks, it's delicious)

/

Thank you so much to you bene readers who have favorited and followed me! TE AMO!

Please let me know if there's any suggestions, requests, etc, you would like!

Chapter 5 coming soon! (I'll be updating regularly)


	5. Ch 5: It's all about the D

Chapter Five It's all about the D

Ezio hasn't prayed in so long, but today he prays to whoever is up there—that Leonardo will not be sitting at the Heartbreaker's Club today. He pulls up to the club and enters through the back.

"Hey! You made it back, The Italian Stallion!" Yusuf cheers and slaps Ezio on the back.

"Oh _mios dios_," Ezio mutters and rubs his temples before getting into his costume. "So Edward really did put that on a poster?"

"Oh you bet he did," Yusuf says with roaring laughter, holding up the poster.

The poster is digital art drawing of Ezio, with his flowy white shirt halfway unbuttoned. His hands are on the last buttons to almost remove it all. His pecs were visible and some of his abs. His body nearly glow and was surrounded by roses, it looks like a romance novel or a shot from a shojou manga.

The poster reads: "Get your heart stolen by The Italian Stallion: The Assassin of Hearts!" _Could it get any cheesier_, Ezio thought. But then he looks at the credits of the poster, and sees it was drawn _by_ Leonardo Da Vinci! _So was that why he was there that day, or…?_

He puts the poster down, and finishes getting dressing. As he dresses another man enters the room and plops down with a brooding expression. He has short cropped brown hair and a harsh jawline.

Since he just got off stage, he's only clad in boxers but he makes his way to the lockers to gather up a white hoodie, jeans, and black shoes. He begins getting dressed as Yusuf walks over to him.

"Don't be a stranger!" Yusuf chirps and claps the man on the back. "Meet the Italian Stallion, the new guy here!"

The man looks up at Ezio and with a sideways grin says, "And I thought I got the worst of Edward's nicknames."

Ezio laughs and smiles. "What is yours?"

"Des_moans_," the man says with a twitch at the sides of his mouth.

"Oh wow…?"

"Yeahhhhh..." Desmond mutters and grimaces.

"What's your real name?" Ezio asks.

"Desmond Miles…" the man says and shakes Ezio's hand. "and you?"

"Ezio."

"No! Ezio _de La La La_!" Yusuf says and laughs. Desmond and Ezio just shake their head.

"You know, Yusuf, you never told me your stripper name." Ezio prods him.

Yusuf groans and throws his head back laughing. "There is a reason why my friend," he says and gestures to his outfit. "I am Officer Yu-So-Fine!" Ezio and Desmond can't stop laughing until it's time for Officer Yu-So-Fine to perform, so he leaves.

"So do all of you go down to the d when you're up there?" Ezio asks. "I noticed Yusuf did the other day, but…I thought the law said…"

Desmond scratches the back of his head and shrugs. "Honestly? It's a law not so well enforced. We have feds that even come in for the show, but all the do is toss fiftys up there." Desmond laughs before continuing. "Edward tells newbies about the law so the gig doesn't freak them out, but you'll learn to overlook the law too. Cos you get more money—I mean it's all about the D, bro."

"Not sure if that's something I can learn…" Ezio says and narrows his eyes.

"Look, it gets better," Desmond tries to explain but Ezio sighs. _What did I get myself into, he thinks_. "it's not so bad, you can always hit our bar if it gets too bad—we get free drinks."

This time he goes on stage, and there is no Leonardo in the crowd staring at him so he doesn't feel as uncomfortable. Without Leonardo there, when he gets a shouted request to take it _all _off he does and he gets double the money. So apparently they liked what they saw.

After his performance, he gets dressed and decides to make use of the bar. He doesn't worry about discretion since Leonardo was not in the audience, so he plops on a bar stool and orders shots of the strongest stuff they have. He knocks them back one after another and soon he looses count. He switches to beer, but nothing seems to fill the void inside of him. He felt dead because of the lows he'd stooped to, and the sexual orientation he wasn't sure of at all anymore. He starts drinking by the bottle.

"Ezio?" He hears a honey sweet voice utter next to him and he looks up to see the cause of his drinking.

"Leo..nardo?" Ezio mumbles to him, but he's too drunk to care who it is.

"What are you doing here?" Leonardo asks, but one glance at Ezio and the poster behind him and he knows. Leonardo's cheeks are the color of a Bloody Mary.

"Yeahhhh, that's right. The big mystery! I am the _amazing_ Italian Stallion," Ezio says and breaks out of laughter for no reason other than the booze.

"I—I am so sorry," Leonardo apologizes.

"Why are you sorry? 'Cos I'm a fuck up and ended up working here? Or sorry because you think I'm so _amazingggg_."

Leonardo doesn't know what to say but the silence is broken as Ezio knocks back one last shot—but this one takes him over the edge, he turns to a bucket of discarded peanut shells and hurls all of the contents of his stomach into it. Leonardo holds Ezio's hair back, but Ezio doesn't notice. He sits back up, wiping his mouth and sighs.

"Ezio, let's get you home," Leonardo says to a reluctant Ezio. But after a brief discussion to his boss, it is agreed to leave Ezio's car here and Leonardo will drive him home.

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine," Ezio mumbles, but he stumbles as he gets up, and almost trips. Leonardo catches him, sarcastically asking, "You are fine?"

"Alright, maybe not so fine…"

Leonardo helps guide him out the door.

"Leonardo…I'm sorry," Ezio says and sighs as they leave the building, walking a short distance towards Leonardo's car.

"It's no matter," Leonardo says with a smile, and opens the door for him.

"No need to be a gentlemen," Ezio mumbles and stumbles in the car. Leonardo sits next to him and Ezio can't even buckle his seatbelt he's so drunk. Leonardo buckles it for him but as he turns to see Ezio's face they catch each other's eyes. Ezio lets out an exasperated sigh that splays alcohol scented breath all over Leonardo's face, but he does not mind.

Leonardo settles back into the driver's seat. "So where is the casa de Ezio at?"

"Ahhhh Case de Auditore…It's in Florence and it sure is a nice place…" Ezio mumbles and laughs. "I miss that place…"

"Ezio, we're not in Italy—we're in America…" Leonardo says and exhales, trying not to be condescending. "Where is your house? Here. In America?"

"I…uh…um…" Ezio mumbles, hiccups, and before he can help it he opens the car door and hurls again.

"Look, Ezio I'll take you to my place, okay?" He says, with no reply from Ezio, so he heads to his own apartment a few blocks over. The whole ride there is silent, but it isn't an awkward silence this time. The buzz from the booze seemed to have worked to keep the edge off at least.

Leonardo parks and helps him up the stairs and to the door. Opening the door Ezio stumbles in and plops on the couch. His legs are spread open and his head knocked back.

"Here, I'll get you some water," Leonardo finds a glass, fills it with filtered water, and hands it to Ezio who sips on it.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Ezio asks, shifts, and sits up so Leonardo sits next to him, there is still a couch cushion's length between the two.

"Well—We are friends I suppose," Leonardo replies and smiles.

"I don't know why you'd-hic-want to be friends with me, ya know? I'm a real fuck-up sometimes…Yeah…That's why I'm here you know. My fucking dad sent me here so I wouldn't embarrass him in Florence. Ruin the Auditore name. My brother Federico he thinks he's the shit—and so does my dad and I'm here, the fuck up and I'm trying to make something of myself here but I always end up fucking it all up again somehow. I know I'll fuck it up with you too…"

"No, No, you won't, Ezio! I….I don't think you are a 'fuck up', Ezio…I think you're _amazing_," Leonardo says. "I think anyone is lucky to be close to you."

"I am not amazing. I'm a broke college kid who's stripping for money, what's so amazing about me? No, your art is amazing, _you_ are amazing, the perfect cup of coffee is amazing, not me…"

"You think I am amazing?"

"I don't know…" Ezio mumbles and his eyes are getting so heavy. "Ughhhh look. I don't even know why, I just…" Ezio crumples and his head rests on Leonardo's shoulder.

Leonardo blushes as he feels Ezio lulling to sleep. He isn't quite sure what to do in a situation like this, so he doesn't move an inch so that Ezio can sleep peacefully. With the touch of a soft wind he pets Ezio's hair and he whispers, "I don't know why either, but I love you, Ezio Auditore."


End file.
